


This is your song

by aythia



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-07
Updated: 2010-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 13:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aythia/pseuds/aythia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen...it was like you couldn't mention one without mentioning the other. Until everything changed...</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is your song

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at <http://aythia.livejournal.com/14960.html>

~*~  


  
  
The guitar was always present at Jensen's place. Usually it was on it's stand in the corner, but sometimes it rested against the side of the sofa or the coffee table. A few times he had found it in the kitchen and once even leaning against the bath tub. But for all the times Jensen clearly moved it around, played it, Jared had never seen him actually touch it.

It was only the first time he had seen it moved that Jared realized it wasn't only a decoration, Jensen did actually play it.

One year into their friendship and Jared thought it was strange that his friend didn't even talk about the guitar, about music much at all. They both listened to music, but not even that they discussed. Jensen liked music, Jared knew that. It was very clear from the way he sometimes closed his eyes, tilting his head back against the back of the sofa with a small, happy smile on his lips as certain songs played on the radio.

So Jensen liked music, he owned a guitar, Jared was pretty sure he could play the guitar, and yet, Jared had never seen him touch it. It just didn't make sense. 

~*~  


  
Jared couldn't pinpoint when he realized he had fallen in love with Jensen. It hadn't been a moment where he looked at his friend and just _knew_ , like here would be in the movies. The second the ' _I love him_ ' thought came to him it was like it had always been there, like he had always known. Always? What a silly thing, he had only known Jensen for little over a year, but he couldn't really think of a time when the green eyed man hadn't been the focus point of his life.

And then there was love.

The problem would of course be that Jensen was straight. Very much so. Jared even knew what type of girls Jensen was in to. Jensen was not in to 6"4 men with shaggy brown hair and a tendency to trip over their own feet. Jared knew that, but it didn't stop him from loving Jensen. It didn't even make him try not to be in love with Jensen.

He thought he had started falling in love with Jensen that first day outside Kripke's lecture hall.

~*~  


  
  
_Jared was late. Typical. His first fucking day of college and he was running late. Jared was practically skidding past the last corner to get to the hall where the lecture would be...when he crashed straight into another guy, who had been leaning against the wall._  


"Fuck, shit, sorry!" Jared gasped out as air rushed back into his lungs.

The other boy had fallen to the ground and looked up at Jared with the most amazingly green eyes Jared had ever seen. Then a small smirk twitched his lips.

"Well, aren't you in a hurry? Mind helping me up here?"

Jared laughed at that and reached out one hand to help the guy up from the floor.

"So, what's with the running?"

"Because I'm running late," Jared sighed. "I really don't wanna be late to first lecture and shit, I need to..."

"Kripke?" the stranger interrupted. "Don't worry, he's kinda known for always being late. That's why we're standing here."

Only then did Jared realize that the corridor was lined with people, people who looked at the two of them with amused faces. Jared blushed a little at that, trust Jared Padalecki to make a spectacle of himself from the get-go. Then the words really reached him and he breathed out a sigh in relief.

"So I'm not late? Thank fuck..."

Just then Kripke arrived, half running through to corridor and skidding to a stop in front of the door.

"Hey, why aren't you guys inside?" he asked, looking around at the people lining the walls.

"Uhm...'Cause it's locked? Yeah, sounds like a good reason!" someone called out.

Kripke looked with a surprised face from his students to the door, shook the handle and then started digging in his pockets for a key, finally letting them all inside. Jared looked at the man with amusement. Sure, he'd been looking forward to the 'Movies of the 80's and 90's' class but now it seemed even better, their teacher was clearly insane.

As they filed into the lecture hall Jared didn't really think about it, he saw an open seat next to the green eyed stranger and decided to stick with the one guy he had talked to so far.

"By the way, I'm Jensen," the guy said as he took up a netbook and put it on the little table in front of them.

"Hey, I'm Jared. Nice to...uhm...bump into you," Jared said with what he knew was a dorky grin.

Jensen looked at him for a moment and then he rolled his eyes.

"Bad pun dude, really bad."  
  


~*~  


  
Jared and Jensen. That was how people talked about them after that first lecture, it had been an instant thing. It was like you couldn't mention one without mentioning the other.

But things were changing. Jared knew it, could feel it, but he didn't know why. The change was slow, the same way as Jared falling for Jensen had been slow. Nothing he could put his finger on in the beginning, just something that grew on them until it finally was just there, too big a thing to be ignored. Jensen started being busy, started not answering Jared's call and before Jared could really understand what had happened he realized that for the last week he had only seen Jensen in class.

The second week passed slow. Jared tried to talk to Jensen but every time he tried Jensen found an excuse to change the subject, to move away, and Jared was too scared to force an answer out of him. Because he knew what it must be about. Jensen knew. Somehow Jensen had figured out Jared's feelings for him and this was his way of saying that he wasn't interested.  
Jared really thought it was a bit redundant. He had always known Jensen wasn't interested, it had never been about getting something back. It had only been about Jensen. About making Jensen happy. And if Jensen could only be happy without Jared? Well. That sucked.

~*~  


  
One month. One long month had turned Jared and Jensen into just Jared. Just Jensen. Two separate people, and Jared hated it. He hated not spending long evenings on Jensen's couch, watching stupid action movies and drinking beer, or afternoons bent over books as they both studied. But most of all he hated how miserable Jensen looked, how dark the rings under his eyes were, how pale his skin had become.

Jared sat on a bench in a hidden corner, watching Jensen on the other side of the open walkway. Jensen was leaning against a wall, their friend Chris standing close. Something about the way they are standing makes Jared uneasy. It looked like they were arguing and Jared had to fight with himself to keep from going over there and find out what it was all about, what was making Jensen upset. But Jensen didn't want him to, didn't want him around any more.  
He saw Jensen scowl something at Chris and then stalk off and Jared wanted to know, wanted to comfort. But then Chris turned around and met his gaze. He looked at Jared for a long time and then his eyes flickered away to watch Jensen's retreating back. When his gaze was back to Jared he rolled his eyes and started walking over.

"You are idiots," was the first thing he said as he came close enough.

"What?"

"Idiots. Both of you. I have this bright idea, it might sound strange but here goes; talk it the fuck out!" Chris growled.

"Chris, he doesn't wanna speak to me. He is pulling away from me," Jared sighed.

"I know, and that makes him the biggest idiot. But him being an idiot doesn't make you less of an idiot, you're _letting_ him pull away, you moron."

"But..."

"No. Talk to him. Right the fuck now!"

Jared just nodded. Chris might be right about him being an idiot, but he wasn't idiot enough to argue with an upset Christian Kane. Some things you just didn't do. Ever. 

~*~  


  
Jared didn't find Jensen anywhere around campus and finally he decided to go to his tiny little apartment, wait for him there if he wasn't at home. Because yes, Chris had been right and Jared was an idiot, but idiot or not he needed answers only Jensen could give.

As he raised his hand to knock on Jensen's door he froze. He could hear music from the inside, and not from the crappy stereo. It was an acoustic guitar playing softly inside, and Jared realized that for the first time ever he was actually hearing Jensen play.  
The sound was soft, sounded sad, but it was also beautiful, and when he leaned closer to the door Jared could hear a soft humming that he was sure was Jensen singing.

Jensen. Singing.

Jared knocked on the door and the silence was instantaneous, but no one came to open the door. He knocked again, harder, and waited. This time he could hear foot steps on the other side and then the door opened. Jensen's eyes widened when he saw Jared standing there and he caught his lower lip between his teeth.

"We need to talk," Jared said, and without waiting for an answer he pushed past Jensen and went into the tiny living room.

Jensen closed the door and followed him, but he didn't sit down on the sofa. Instead he stood watching Jared from the doorway, still worrying his lips with his teeth. Jared opened his mouth to speak but didn't really know where to begin so he closed his mouth again. His eyes darted down to the guitar that was resting on the sofa.

"Why have I never heard you play or sing?"

The words slipped out without him even thinking about it and Jensen's eye popped wide at the question. Jensen took a small step forward, eyes fixed on the guitar and not on Jared, then he quickly walked over and picked it up, slinging the strap over his head and settling down on the sofa with it on his lap.

"I don't sing in front of people. Only Chris and Steve," Jensen mumbled. "And that's cause...they've always been there, you know."

Jared nodded a little. He knew that Chris and Steve had been Jensen's friends since kindergarden, but he still felt like he was missing a piece of the puzzle.

"I only play, and sing, if it means something to me. If I got something to say," Jensen said and slowly strummed out a few chords. "Plus, yeah, I am kinda shy, you know...when it comes to music. But I have wanted to play for you, Jay. And...I think I should...now."

Jensen leaned over his guitar, fingers caressing the strings and then he looked up at Jared, met his gaze dead on as he started singing. Jared knew the song, had heard it several times, but never sung like that. Never with such emotion.

" _You have bound my heart with subtle chains_  
So much pleasure that it feels like pain  
So entwined now that we can't shake free  
I am you and you are me 

No escaping from the mess we're in  
So much pleasure that it must be sin  
I must live with this reality  
I am yours eternally 

There's no turning back  
We're in this trap  
No denying the facts  
No, no, no  
No excuses to give  
I'm the one you're with  
We've no alternative  
No, no, no" 

Jared felt like something inside him was fighting to break out. The way Jensen looked when he sung, eyes riveted on Jared while the words spilled from his lips. When the last words drifted into silence Jared felt himself gasping for air, unable to comprehend the meaning of the song.

"Jen..." he whispered.

"I am so sorry Jared, but I _need_ to tell you...and I know you might hate me but..."

Jensen stood up, putting the guitar down on the sofa and then he walked over to stand in front of Jared.

"The reason I been avoiding you is...I didn't want you to find out that..." Jensen scratched nervously at his neck. "I kinda...uhm. Fuck...I...I'm in love with you."

Jared released a breath he hadn't been aware that he had been holding and then he grinned widely.

"Chris is right, we _are_ idiots..."

Jensen looked up with a surprised expression as Jared closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around him.

"I'm kinda in love with you as well."

Jensen blushed and then he wrapped his arms around Jared's shoulders and kissed him softly. It was the most perfect kiss Jared had ever experienced. It was Jensen, it was sweet and slow, languid touch of lips and strokes of tongues until they had to break apart for air, both of them grinning happily.

"This means you'll sing for me again?"

Jensen just smiled even wider and returned to kissing Jared and really, Jared wasn't one to complain about that. Besides, he knew he would hear Jensen sing again but...that could wait. 

~*~  


  



End file.
